Stephen's Right Hand Accident Journal
On 14th January 2023 I was finishing some DIY in my garden using a circular saw which I have confidently and safely used for years. This time, it hit resistance in the wood and within a fraction of a second, it jumped and swung out of control across my right hand. I looked down to see all 4 of my fingers severed, attached minimally by just a few millimetres of skin at the bases. My little finger was fully detached on the floor having been completely severed from my hand. Blood was flowing quickly and my body went into shock.
I was alone, but I managed to get my neighbour’s attention as luckily her back door was open from letting out her dog. Within 7 minutes the ambulance arrived (during a period of ambulance strikes) which was extremely lucky, and I was taken to Wexham Park Hospital, a renowned specialist centre for hand and plastic surgery. Luckily this hospital is 7-8 minutes from my home and with blood supply failing, time was an important factor in the chances of saving any fingers.
I went into surgery for 8 hours to have the bones wired together as they were 100% fractured, flexor tendons (palm side) and extensor tendons (back of hand side) repaired, blood vessels and nerves reconstructed, as most were 100% divided. My thumb was unaffected by the injury. I was warned by one of the surgeons when I woke up that the blood supply was failing to my little finger and it was unlikely to survive. My index finger was also failing to re-establish circulation out from it, causing congestion and it could also fail to survive, but I was told the other repairs to middle and ring finger were all successful at this stage. My finger nail was removed from the index finger and medical leeches were attached to my nail bed to draw blood through, allowing fresh blood to enter the finger and keep it alive. It took 13 days and nights of this, until eventually it became strong enough to sustain circulation by itself without leeches. It has however, permanent nerve and tendon damage so sensation of the index finger is now greatly reduced on 1 side. By day 5 my little finger was showing no sign of improvement and the tissue was dying. I was taken to surgery to have it amputated on the 19th Jan which was a very difficult day for me.
When discharged, I started an intensive hand therapy programme, which I still have today, for months it took up at least 3 hours each day, but I was determined to give myself the best chance for a successful recovery as the subsequent hand therapy is as important as the surgery itself. At first, I didn’t know if I would be able to play the piano again, but naturally, I wanted to begin trying to play as soon as possible. It was like going back to the beginning, at first I barely had the strength to depress a key but as I healed I felt improvement in touch control, strength, span, dexterity and speed.
However, I was coming to terms with the loss and grief of losing a finger and the realisation of losing all of my repertoire and years of work/ skill in an instant was devastating. It felt like a huge part of who I was had been removed from me, including part of my expressive personality. I was grieving this loss along with that of grieving the physical loss of a finger. I was realising that there will be much repertoire that I knew I will no longer have the ability to play in the same way that I once did, but I had to stay positive and I knew that with perseverance there would be so much music that I will be able to play, and that was my challenge. I was still teaching to make an income and this experience, while not being able to play was frustrating and challenging mentally. I had moments when I wasn’t sure whether to turn away from music and look for a new career.
I had more surgery in December 2023 to release scar tissue on my 4th finger which was restricting it from bending significantly. This has been a success, and I now have a very good function from my right hand. My surgeons and hand therapist are amazed at how well I have done as they couldn’t predict what my outcome would be with an injury of that nature and the amount of damage and repairs. I am so lucky to have a wonderful hand therapist, and surgeons who continue to go above and beyond to help me. She said to me how much she wanted to help me from the beginning, as she is an amateur pianist herself and her mother was a concert pianist, apparently having performed at the Wigmore Hall. It is good to be able to have a medical therapist who also understands music and can guide my recovery to a musical point of view too e.g. spanning the hand for chords exercises, independence of the fingers for playing thirds etc and dexterity exercises etc.
I am being used in multiple case studies and published medical journals in the NHS and internationally. I have been following a plaster casting technique called CMMS, by a specialist in South Africa via online sessions, and she has been presenting my case to train hand therapists in Africa, America, Asia and Australia. The plaster casting technique helps encourage movement of stiffened joints. It also re-trains the brain’s neurological patterns to initiate a fist correctly which was successful for me and if promoted more, could help others with similar injuries.
All the way through I have tried so hard to remain positive and grateful that they saved the fingers that they did. It could have been a far worse outcome. In those moments after the accident while alone I was afraid I was going to die and I feel positive and confident in the knowledge that life is too short to be unhappy about the past. Its been a tough road but ultimately I have grown as a person and learned that there is always something to be positive about and to smile when you feel sad. Things in life go wrong but I have learned to appreciate and love what I have, and always remember what I had.
I have now overcome most pianistic challenges, and most of the music I am interested in I feel I can reattempt. Re-fingering passage work without the 5th finger is possible, and most chords are maneagable, apart from large ones where I may need to drop a note but these are rare. I have a manageable 9th range from thumb to 4th finger and speed/ dexterity is almost as good as it was. My index finger has taken extra care and work to gain control, especially in fast runs due to the nerve and tendon damage but other than that I am managing to rebuild.
Since preparing recital programmes again I have also been asked by multiple venues and compnies to present a recital and motivational talk to tell the story of my accident. At first it felt extremely daunting to restart playing in public, with a professional expectation from both presenters and audiences. My first event post accident was in April 2024, a recital/ presentation talk at Durham University. I played Mozart’s Fantasia in D minor, Beethoven Pathetique, some Chopin Nocturnes, Handel Chaconne in G. Music which I feel represents finding light through the dark, hope, progress and perseverance.
